My Last Relapse

I remained relapse free for five years. I stuck to a low fat diet and didn't eat much dairy and red meat. During those five years, I had two miscarriages and I had two perfectly healthy children which I love more then life itself. I also moved to a new home twice. The year before my last relapse was tough. I gave birth to my daughter then moved to a larger house. I have a helper which I am very lucky to have so it was easier for me then most, but nevertheless, my husband was having issues with work and it all piled up. I over did it.

My legs started to get pins and needles. The numbness lasted for more then a month and it also would come in my arms at times. I also felt extremely weak. My legs were weaker then ever. I could barely find the energy to get out of bed. Emotionally I was unstable and I started to think that maybe I should go on a medication. I never wanted to. As I mentioned before I felt, and still do feel, medication is not the answer. However, I started to see all the neurologists of the major hospitals in my area. I had a neurologist but my family felt he was not aggressive enough. He did not recommend I go on medication since I had my relapse after five years and he felt I would bounce back.

My family insisted I should be on medication because all the doctors in their area say that I should be on something. Finally, my current neurologist put me on Rebif, even though I really in my heart felt it was not the answer. I know the awful side effects of the medications for MS and I just felt I could get myself back into perfect health on my own with more research and dedication. I was reading a book at the time, "What your doctor doesn't know about nutritional medication could be killing you," and I started to take more supplements. Before I started the Rebif I recovered fully. I still would have the underlying fatigue if I didn't sleep well, but the numbness was gone. From barely being able to lift my body, I was up and moving again. Yet, despite my hesitation to take the medication my family and the doctor insist I take it. I decided at the end I would try it. I guess I got scared.

I have been on Rebif now for a tough six months. I take the medication three times a week and the days I take it I can get very tired and weak and my body can ache severely for a few hours. If I take panadol a few times a day things are much better, but I really don't want to rely on pain killers for the rest of my life. Therefore, I try not to take the panadol unless I really need something to help me cope with the pain. I also worry that the panadol can cause more harm to my liver, since the medication is already putting the liver at risk.

Overall, I feel worse on the medication. The doctor says things will get easier with time, who knows. In the mean time, I feel the medication does more harm to my body then good. The days I take the medication, after I take it about four hours later the weakness hits me for a few hours then I just feel tired. The next day is better because I am medication free but I still feel achy. Then the whole thing starts again the next day. The only days i really feel kind of normal are Friday and Saturday. The two days in a row I don't take the medication.

I never felt the heaviness of MS until I started treating it. I felt pretty normal before. Normal but with the underlying fatigue. I plan on taking an MRI soon and I pray to find less lesions. I don't plan to be on this medication forever. I want to know if what i am feeling is MS and or Rebif. Right now I feel its all Rebif symptoms which are making my life difficult. I plan to see the Neurologist soon to discuss maybe taking a break. I doubt he will like that, but we will see.